Death

This isn't a suicide note, please don't take it as one.

So, while watching Scrubs, I made the observation that I wouldn't be able to stand a funeral or wake. I don't believe in God, or heaven or any of that good stuff, so if someone stood there, telling me about how my good friend or family will go to a "better place" I'd spend the entire thinking about how much I disagree. It would ruin every minute of the service. And my dad is still pretty religious, so he's probably going to want something an incredibly Methodist funeral. My mom has short bouts of religiousness, so she may have one too.

On the other side of things, I have no idea what my funeral would be. If I died today, no one would know what to do. Their speeches about heaven would be null and void, and where would they even hold the wake? They could do it in a church, but the entire time every one would be thinking "He wouldn't want this...". I guess I could be cremated, but where would they spread my ashes? Game Stop? Guitar Center? Frankly, it's hopeless.

THIS PART GETS KINDA CREEPY, YOU MIGHT WANT TO SKIP IT.
I'm not even really sure what I would want. I was going to make this an instruction booklet, but I don't even know what to do. I just googled atheist funeral, it actually helped a lot. I always look to science instead of instead of religion, so I guess I could get around to donation. Honestly, I'm starting to creepy myself out with this.

So there it is. My daily sacrilege, and morbidity out in one shot. Two birds, one slightly disturbing stone.